Narcissistic Personality Disorder has been an issue forever. But it’s been surfacing all over the internet lately. However, is it really spoken of in its true light?
Defining Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Narcissism is a hot topic nowadays. Especially after the first lockdown with the recent pandemic, more people have begun to look into this dark personality disorder. Many poor souls were trapped in the house with their toxic parents or siblings or significant others and suffered a great deal.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is defined as an individual who expresses traits similar to that of other dark triad members like sociopaths or psychopaths. Typically, narcissists are grown out of a fragile ego and feel the need to compensate for said ego. There are many types of narcissists, as NPD is a wide spectrum. The most known are overt, covert, and malignant narcissists.
Behavioral Patterns of Narcissists
Narcissists in general share many traits, such as a severe lack of empathy, a refusal to admit wrongdoings, a susceptibility to inflict emotional and physical abuse on others, and much more. They frequently make the lives of their family members and friends living nightmares, treating them as though they are worthless. Narcissists are dangerous individuals and can be violent if they desire to be. They will feel no guilt and no shame for their actions. If they cry, they cry over themselves. If they feel bad, they feel bad for themselves. They are trying to compensate for an ego that doesn’t exist, and as such, they perceive everyone around them as a threat.
Accordingly, narcissists will try to one-up anyone, including children. Narcissists with families like to create divisions and breed off of chaos, as though they are parasitically feeding off of the discourse. They are terrified of abandonment and will do anything to keep their feeding supply near them at all times. When they have fully damaged someone, they will move onto the next. They will sometimes select a child to become a narcissistic successor, if you will. It is a twisted and horrible thing to conceptualize, but people like this unfortunately exist.
Why did Narcissistic Personality Disorder Grow in Searches?
During the pandemic, people were stuck with their families all day essentially. The true colors of many people were revealed during this time. In response to this growing issue, many websites and YouTube channels dedicated to this topic started popping up and gained a lot of traction. Multiple hours of coaching were purchased and booked, and many questions started showing up regarding how to deal with narcissists.
Additionally, the birth of the internet and then social media allowed for a simplistic pathway to be made in regards to this rise in narcissism. The “me and me alone” mentality and the worship of idols on social media gave people the feeling of god-like powers. Don’t misunderstand me please: I know that the psychological concepts of nature and nurture affect a person’s susceptibility to narcissism. I don’t want to undermine the power of mistakes parents may make during their kids’ lives. Also, I don’t want to forget that there are covert narcissists that one may be living with for years and not even realize after they’ve already been negatively affected or damaged. I know all of that. Believe me, it is not fun.
NPD is Much More than we are Told
Anyways, what bothered me when checking the many YouTube channels and subscribing to some, as well as the comment section, is the amount of people who claim that they are living with narcissists; the amount of followers who are desperate and on their own trying to find out whether their partners or parents are narcissists. Well, let me say it straight-forwardly: If you are not comfortable in a relationship, you need to find a way to leave. If you can’t leave, plan it wisely and take time to figure out how you can. I’m not saying that no relationship is worth working a little harder for sometimes; I’m simply saying that some relationships are more harmful than others and in the long run, it will not be worth destroying your life for. If a person is diagnosed with a terminal illness, they have to act fast in the hopes of reversing its effects. If your relationship is draining and not working no matter what you do, then you are simply wasting time and energy on it. You could be spending this energy on bettering your future.
Toxic relationships drain us. They should not have a place in our lives. At some point people stop being capable of changing who they are. This is true the older they get. People eventually have solidified personalities at a certain age. Unfortunately, this is very true with narcissists. They cannot change because they do not believe that there is anything wrong with them. Simply put, they believe they are always right. They see themselves as a god among humanity.
The other thing that bothered me and made me question this attention to narcissism is how can I make sure that the person posing the question is not the narcissist themself? Narcissists tend to complain that their partners are narcissists! Weird right? But it’s true.
Narcissism is Underplayed Online
The last point I wanted to mention is that with all due respect to many of the content creators, they sometimes make light of the concept of narcissism. Believe me, if you lived with one, you will be stung and you will know it. It is not the simple “Look at me I’m the best and all are bad,” though that is part of it. It is not just the person who seems to be loud and show off too much. It is a creepy personality disorder in which those with it make it their goal to destroy as many souls as possible.
The next time you feel something is wrong, log it and follow the pattern. I can assure you, narcissists tend to have patterns in their behavior. Also, check with a professional. Go with your guts and evaluate your life every now and then and don’t be afraid to act in the best interest of your life. But above all, do it safely. Those narcissists are not trustworthy. Some of them will make it their goal to never let you live a single day in your life peacefully.
See Also: Decisions Anyone?!
Doaa Abou Sharbin is a freelancer and has a passion for mental and physical health and the art of parenting.
