Instead of making resolutions we know we’ll drop, we need to start thinking about the basis of our problems.
We all have resolutions every New Year. Mostly….I think you guessed it, drumroll please….yes losing weight. Well what if I tell you a secret? A resolution is an old fashioned overused term. This is how I see it. First let’s see how dictionaries define a resolution. With a quick Google search, a resolution is defined by: “A firm decision to do or not to do something.” Easy right? Well no, and of course not.
A firm decision means that there are steps to it. Now ask yourself the following questions:
- Do you have the intention?
- Do you have the will?
- Do you have what it takes to do it in the form of strength and determination?
- Are you usually consistent?
- Do you finish tasks no matter how hard they are?
Do you see where I am going with these questions? In order to have a resolution, you have to have a set of virtues and characteristics that will allow you to deliver on your resolution; otherwise it is not a resolution anymore, but rather a dream.
If you don’t have what it takes to take on a resolution, then you are simply setting yourself up for failure. Who likes to fail? Even though our schools and parents and movies always teach us that failure leads to learning and eventually success, it is in our DNA that we don’t enjoy failure. It always rides on us that we need to be the best and not fail at anything. Even though failure is not the end of the world, our brains don’t enjoy failing.
My gift to you this New Year is a piece of advice. Instead of having a resolution, be it weight loss, or learning a hobby, or being nice to people, or using less social media, just make a promise to yourself that you accept yourself as is. This is not a call to stop working on improving yourself; rather it is the ultimate improvement of oneself.
We all have flaws; we are human after all. No one is perfect. There is no way we can achieve perfection, otherwise we would be metaphysical. We can do what we can do. When we reach to an agreement with ourselves regarding who we are, and we eventually accept ourselves, then we can be more realistic and achieve more goals.
We are human. After all. Much in common. After all. Get it?
We have to approach this step with some caution though. I’m not asking you to accept the fact that you have extra weight that is lowering your quality of life and not set a goal to solve this problem. I’m also not asking you to accept the fact that you have a low self esteem and not try to work on it. You see the pattern here? I start with addressing the problem like extra weight and low self esteem. Then I work on the solution.
If you accept yourself first no matter how bad your idea of yourself is, then you can have more courage to face your flaws and accept them as part of who you are. You are who you are because of the composition of some perfection with some flaws and a hint of whatever else that makes you up ( I will not go in depth and include the upbringing and outside influences…etc). After recognizing your strengths and weaknesses, you can start having more realistic expectations and goals to correct what needs to be corrected. The more realistic your goals and promises to yourself are, the more achievable they become.
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So now in 2022, do yourself a favor and accept it. Love yourself a little extra. And no this is not a call to be a narcissist. A little self love goes a long way. Then and only then you will see yourself a little clearer and be able to identify what needs to be done and how to do it.
You can leave me comments of how you plan to do that and let this year be the beginning of your self discovery. Just be realistic and don’t be harsh on yourself. Write down what you feel and take notes. You will be amazed when you go back and read it what you will discover about yourself.
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